It was Grandma’s 97th birthday last Friday, and she seemed so happy at her birthday party. As I approached her to greet her, someone (I think it was my Aunt Betty Jo) asked her “do you know who that is?”, to which grandma replied with something along the lines of: “of course, how could I forget him!” with a big smile– she warmed my heart.
I had visited Grandma about a week earlier, following Kekoa’s baptism. Suffering from dementia, and her room not being terribly well lit, she asked who I was several times. This is partly my fault for not visiting more often– I’ve not been the best grandson.
As I sat next to her, I picked up a photo album that my aunt Rosemary put together years ago for Grandma and Grandpa McKinlay’s 50th wedding anniversary. As I flipped through its pages, looking at photos of both my grandparents (but particularly of my grandmother), I began to feel a deep sense of gratitude for this woman, who was approaching her 97th year, for being
my grandmother– she has only ever taught me love and generosity. She was always sweet, happy and smiling.
I had some indescribable sense of how she was part of who I am, not just in the physical, biological sense. I have to confess that I never truly got to know my grandmother as I was growing up. But looking through those photos of her in her youth and pondering, I just knew who she was in a more spiritual sense, and I appreciate and love her for being who she is.
I took her hand and squeezed it, and smiling, told her (partly so as to remind her of what her relationship to me was)– “I’m so glad that you’re my grandma.”
She looked at me and said sweetly something to the effect of “Oh, I hope we can be good friends for eternity…”
I didn’t expect that kind response from her, but I appreciated it so much. We will be good friends for eternity, Grandma… we will. Thank you for being who you are, and for being part of who I am.
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8 responses to “Grandma McKinlay”
that is really sweet mikie! thanks for sharing and making me tear up. last time i went to see grandma, she asked if my dad and i were engaged. but then as i was leaving she told me one of her favorite memories of me as a baby. and she did it with her little grandma twinkle in her eye.
Oh yeah, she’s totally started talking to me as if I were my dad in the past, and I’m sure my mom could tell you all kinds of stories (sometimes she thinks my mom is her sister, sometimes she thinks she’s someone else too.) Lately it seems like the veil may be thinning for her… Soogie says she says things like “what’s Daddy doing over there?” It’ll be bitter-sweet when she does finally go 🙂
I love our Grams. We sure did get lucky having her.
Yeah, so many great memories of grandma. I remember, as a kid (and even older), having to run to keep up with her at the mall. I also loved the way she would dance around, and tell stories about her ballerina days. Such a cute lady. We really did get lucky with her.
I feel like I’m interupting and I hope you don’t mind a non family member posting, but I’d just like to say that I only met the woman once, but I’ll never forget her. She was as you described her – so happy and cheerful. Not to mention hilarious. I have a feeling she’s affected a lot of people the same way. Such a cool lady.
You pretty much are family, Jeffe, hehe. I remember that day… “Shhh! He’s going to say something!” or something like that, hahaha. So awesome. I was so amazed at how aware of you she was.
I have the cutest girl I want to set you up with. She is fabulous and nice to look at. She works at Davis’ after school program, so you know she is nice to put up with that. Let me know, give me a call.
Sweet Post, Mikie 🙂