For years I’ve been one of the people in the office who complains whenever someone makes popcorn. Why? Because it smells so dang good. I think popcorn is engineered to emit that aroma– so that other people will want some. How the crap do you think movie theaters sell it when it’s so expensive? So when you smell it in the office it’s like torture because you can’t have any.
I have some at home, yet never pop it. So today, one of those rare days when I packed a lunch, I saw the popcorn in the cupboard and figured what the heck– I’ll take it to work and maybe I’ll actually pop it and eat it.
A little bit ago I needed to run down near the atrium, so I decided to hit the microwaves in the break room to pop my popcorn, since I’m working late. As I make the trek back to my desk, I think “YES. Now I’m the jerk with the popcorn that smells so good,” and I try to contain a cackle. I wonder if the couple women a few cubes over can smell the popcorn. It only takes a few minutes before I hear Michelle say “Hey Mike… are you eating popcorn?” To which I reply with a “yes” that not only said yes but “yes and I know it’s torturing you, haha”. At which point my mind says “you should bring popcorn more often to torture people.” It’s lots more fun being the guy with the popcorn than the one just smelling someone elses.
Maybe this is why villains exist, and why I love Darth Vader. There’s always going to be opposites, good and evil, etc. We all have our good and evil sides. You then have a few options. Be opressed by the villain, try to be a hero against the villain (no real fun there), or BE the villain. YES. Join the dark side. Do it. You know you want to….. Or you can choose to sit there and be tormented by the smell of my popcorn, it’s all within your power.
Alas, I cannot torment you with the smell of this popcorn via my blog… but it does smell just like movie theater popcorn, oh yes. Be thankful you don’t work anywhere near me, because I will be bringing in more popcorn to work to pop when people are more vulnerable, and I will design errands so that I can waft that popcorn smell all across the office…
p.s. I’m drinking this mexican fruit punch that’s taking me somewhere I can’t place. Like an amusement park sno cone or something… strange.
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13 responses to ““Hey Allen, you think I could have some of that popcorn?””
How much longer can you go on ignoring Llew and I?
haha, i can just see luke and darth vader battling it out and luke pausing every once in a while to say, “dang, where’s that popcorn smell coming from, it’s driving me nuts!” there’s the emperor in his big chair, munching away.
That was YOU? Dang! I went down there to get a treat and could smell the popcorn and boy did it smell good!
bwahaha. i think that mexican fruit punch is taking you on a psychedelic voyage of discovery. maybe that’s why mexicans love torture.
michael bluth: do they?
I have a friend that goes to movies mainly for the popcorn – it’s her excuse to eat it. Brilliant – pay $8 to see a movie you’re hardly paying attention to because you’re busy enjoying the $6 popcorn. I have to admit, though – I can’t go to a movie theater without getting popcorn these days. There’s just something about the extra butter and salt that makes me crave it. Of course I get sick after I eat it, but man – it’s worth it!
i’m pretty wary of the salt these days. At least at the Jordan Commons, where they have those big salt shakers. Last time I put salt on I put way too much. I dumped it and went out to get a free refill before the movie started =P
Heebs– holy crap that’s a great image. For some reason I took your description and imagined it with the flash-versions of Luke, Darth, and Emperor (from the Star Wars gangsta rap). The Emperor is awesome– the thing he does that Darth never does is cackle. Darth Vader is just always so serious, the emperor will just cackle like it’s his job.
i love the emperor. it just seems like he’s having such a great time. he really enjoys his job, and it shows.
Someone just made popcorn in the break room and the smell is wafting through the halls.
Cruel. Just cruel.
i’m always reheating some leftover asian food for lunch. the kids (i teach high school) are alway making faces and complaining about the stench. ah. if they only could appreciate the deliciosity of asian food.
Agreed, the smell of popcorn is rather torturous. But the real annoying one is burned popcorn. Now that one lingers…and it’s not pleasant.
holy crap, amen to that! my sisters once put popcorn in the microwave for 20 mins instead of 2 mins. that stuff turned the whole inside of the microwave black (with no way to clean it up), set off smoke detectors, and left a smell in the whole upstairs that lasted for a long, long time. so for heaven’s sake, watch your popcorn while it pops! or at least stay close enough to know how it’s doin.
Mikie sloan, you make me laugh! I remembered this was your website and I came to look at it today. I must admit, I’m very impressed 🙂 We’re coming to UT for Em’s wedding next weekend and we hope to see you and your awesome family there!! BTW, is there going to be popcorn at the reception?
Larisa I can see what I can do… but honestly it’s more fun if you can smell it and NOT have any 😉
Mar / Heffe– indeed. Burnt popcorn is not only a tragic waste but an annoyance as well.
Josh– I went to Sam Hawk on my way home from school today, and as I write this there is some left over spicy grilled pork in the fridge in the copyroom– just waiting to waft that scent out into the air when someone opens the fridge. Hey– could be worse. It could be straight kimchi 😉 (funny that the DJ on the radio this morning said something about being in deep kimchi).